Dear diary,
Oh gosh! The day i had today was slightly awful, i expected Mitch to woo me off my feet but hes abit hesitant and i dont know whether i like him that much. He just talked about his weight and that didnt interest me very much however manly he may be. i dont know what i feel anymore? He wants to get close but i dont think i can let him. i dont want to feel used again, that would just bring back horrible memories. Those memories that i need to get rid of! Who knows what Mitch is like? I mean he is friends with Stanley and that man isnt the best of role models even though he maybe my beautiful sisters husband. That isnt fair i shouldnt say those things, perhaps i could give him a chance.
Another thing that brought me a warm feeling is the fact that i could talk to him about the tragic event regarding Allan and he didnt even flinch. He understood exactly how i felt and when he hugged me it sort of felt nice. Are me and him meant to be? Could this be a happy ever after? Well i am lonely and so is he so it cant hurt can it? Oh God i dont know how i feel about him. I dont want to feel like im using him to fill this big empty void in my life
Brief but with some merit. You have drawn at least in part from the text and attempted to reconcile character and narrative.
ReplyDeleteWhere I think there is weakness is in the lack of direct use of language and character voice from the play. This is not the voice of Blanche which we recognize.
A way to improve it is to look back at what Blanche says and try and incorporate phrases, words and ideas. Also think clearly about what has gone before, the lies she has told, the feelings about Allan which are primarily guilt.
ebi. voice, punctuation, capitals (technical flaws will drop you a grade or more in the exam)